Proverbs 16:32
Better a patient man than a warrior,
a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city.
Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
Possibly the best advice I have ever received came from my friend Stuart Latimer. Stuart was Rebecca and my pre-marital counselor. He told me about my responsibility as Rebecca’s husband and let me know it was my job to die to myself every day for Rebecca. He told me that Jesus died for his bride when his bride was his enemy. Jesus died for his bride (the wife from hell) because his bride was wrong. Stuart told me it was my job to die to myself even when Rebecca was wrong. I learned (and am learning) to look for my responsibility and guilt in the situations where I feel mostly justified and even right.
There are a lot of ideas floating around Christian circles on what it means to be a Christian man. Some have reduced it to ruggedness. Others define it as simply being nice. I think the most distinct signs of a Christian man are repentance and willingness to die to self (even when and especially when) he is right.
Guys, we need this simple truth in our lives. I know so many men who wouldn’t hesitate to kick somebody’s rear end if another guy messed with their wife. So many of the same guys won’t lift a hand in the battle of self.
I apologize in advance if these song lyrics offend anybody, but I think they are especially relevant for this post.
From A King and a Kingdom by Derek Webb
nothing unifies like a common enemy
and we’ve got one, sure as hell
but he may be living in your house
he may be raising up your kids
he may be sleeping with your wife
oh no, he may not look like you think
To end the post here would be crippling. The power to fight self is not found in ourselves.
The battle is only fought in the power of the gospel. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the one who gave up everything to present you blameless before the Father. Fix your eyes on Jesus, the strong and gentle husband who laid down his life for his cheating wife. The power to change is found in him. Be strong in his perfect love.
1 comments:
I wrote a blog about my husband a few days ago. I talked about how early in our marriage a trusted friend of ours (Danny Bryant) talked to him about loving his wife as Christ loves the church. It has had a profound impact on our marriage. So thanks for being faithful to share what God is teaching you.
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