My Heart’s Ache

I am breaking a rule I made for myself when I began this website. I promised myself I wouldn’t write about me. The whole idea of a public diary makes me uncomfortable. That being said, this subject has been running through my mind for weeks. I thought I would make an exception. Please bear with me.

I was reminded last weekend why I started this website. Rebecca and I went to lunch with a few friends, and I was telling one of them about Abundant Redemption. He asked why I started the site and I couldn’t remember. I said something to the effect of “I like to write about Jesus and the gospel.” Another friend was sitting there and said, “Didn’t you start it to try to help people who have left your old church?” I had completely forgotten my original motivation.

Many of you know my story. I am sure many of you don’t. I was raised in a pseudo – Christian church that denied (and continues to deny) the full deity of Christ. They also deny that Christ’s death and resurrection are enough to accomplish full salvation. The group shares no doctrinal convictions with Orthodox Christianity. I could elaborate, but I believe the two doctrines listed above are the errors from which all the others stem. When I was fourteen the group moved from Southern California to Middle Tennessee because the pastor told us God wanted us to move. My family (some of which still belong to the group) moved here with about two to three hundred other people.

I can say without exaggeration that there is not a day of my life when I don’t think about them. My memories of childhood (from birth to seventh grade) consist almost exclusively of people from the group. The memories are bittersweet. You don’t move thousands of miles with a group that small (or large depending on how you view it) without developing some special friendships and making some special memories.

Since leaving I have attempted several strategies in sharing the true gospel with my old friends. Some have been foolish lapses in my judgment. Since I have left I have found myself walking a strange line of wanting to share the gospel with those still there and at the same time wanting to warn others about them.

Recently I found out that a group of four or five churches were partnering together with my old group for a cancer benefit. One of my hopes and prayers is that other Christian churches would take a stand against the false doctrines of the group. I contacted the churches and warned them about the list of beliefs that are contrary to the biblical gospel. Only two responded. One told me they would send the message to the pastor. The other church had their pastor call me, but he was unwilling to remove his own church from the partnership.

All this to say, my heart is aching. When I realized my old friends would not listen to me and what I had to share about the gospel, I hoped other Christian churches would step up and warn them about their false doctrinal beliefs. So far, most have not. Some individuals have tried to share the gospel with them, but they have been turned away as well. It seems all that has happened is they have taken biblical terms used by Orthodox Christians and tried to make them fit their own false beliefs.

In Romans Paul writes, “For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers, those of my own race.” I can’t claim that amount of self-sacrifice, but I can relate. I want my friends to know the Savior. I want them to be saved and enjoy the fellowship only the true gospel can produce.

This post may not make much sense to a lot of you. It is a strange story with a lot of strange details that have been left out. Please pray for my old friends. Pray that God will open their eyes and hearts. Pray that God will give them the faith and the grace they need to believe the gospel.

Thanks for bearing with me.