"There was already a deep black wordless conviction in him that the way to avoid Jesus was to avoid sin."
I read this line from Flannery O’Connor’s novel, ‘Wise Blood’ last night and it reminded me of the older brother from the prodigal son parable.
Luke 15:25 - 30
25"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. 26So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 27'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
The older brother was no more interested in intimacy with the father than the younger son. He wanted his inheritance and the way to get it was to stay at home and in his own words “slave and never disobey.” This was not the obedience of a grateful heart, but rather the manipulative obedience of a hard heart. At least the younger brother was honest about his bad intentions. The older brother avoided the father by obeying.
Sadly, the O’Connor quote didn’t just remind me of the older brother. I see myself in it as well. How quickly did I think of someone else who needed to read the quote? How quickly did I put on my older brother judgmental lenses? Too quickly.
My heart is broken and humbled by the true and greater older brother, Jesus. He didn’t obey out of manipulation but out of love and honor for the Father. This older brother not only welcomes us home to the feast but runs out to carry us to the Father. He gladly gives us his calf and robe. He emptied himself so we could be restored and made full.
I am the prodigal. I am the older brother. I need a Savior. I am thankful to know I have one.
Mark 2:17
17On hearing this, Jesus said to them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."
Mystery of Mercy
by Caedmon's Call
I am the woman at the well, I am the harlot
I am the scattered seed that fell along the path
I am the son that ran away
And I am the bitter son that stayed
My God, my God why hast thou accepted me
When all my love was vinegar to a thirsty King?
My God, my God why hast thou accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song, the song I sing
I am the angry man who came to stone the lover
I am the woman there ashamed before the crowd
I am the leper that gave thanks
But I am the nine that never came
My God, my God why hast thou accepted me
When all my love was vinegar to a thirsty King?
My God, my God why hast thou accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song, the song I sing
You made the seed that made the tree
That made the cross that saved me
You gave me hope when there was none
You gave me only your Son
My God,My God,Lord you are my God.
My God,My God,Lord you are my God.
My God,My God,Lord you are my God.
My God,My God,Lord you are...my God.