Thankful

I become more aware everyday of how incapable I am of doing good. The more I grow, the more sinful I realize I am. As I have contemplated where God has delivered me from I am humbled by how undeserving I am. There is nothing good in me to explain why I was set free. I have some friends who are adopting a child from China this week. As I was being told about their trip over there I realized the only thing I could do was ask God to help them. I had some other friends who had a tough weekend. All I could do was pray for them. As I continue to write about my former cult and try to put forth arguments of why it is evil and people should leave, I'm reminded the most powerful thing I can do is pray for them.

I am weak and can't do anything on my own. Anything I have is from his gracious hand. I know my heart. I would run from him in a second. I do it all day. But, he always welcomes me home. His love cannot fail. He grants repentance. He gives more grace. Salvation belongs to him.

I'm thankful for his grace. My mind is being flooded with lyrics from different songs as I write this. I'll start with this one, but I'm sure others will follow this week.

Thankful by Derek Webb (performed by Caedmon's Call)

You know I ran across
An old box of letters
When I was bagging up some clothes for goodwill

But you know I had to laugh
At the same old struggles
That plagued me then are plaguing me still

‘Cause I know the road is long
From the ground to glory
But a boy can hope he’s getting some place

But you see I’m running from
The very clothes I’m wearing
And dressed like this I’m fit for the chase

You know there is none righteous
Not one who understands
There is none who seeks God no not one
No not one

So I am thankful that I’m incapable of doing any good on my own yeah
Said I’m so thankful that I’m incapable of doing any good on my own yeah

‘Cause we’re all still-born
Dead in our transgressions
Shackled up to the sin we hold so dear

What part can I play
In the work of redemption
‘Cause I can’t refuse and I cannot add a thing

‘Cause I am just like Lazarus
And I can hear your voice
And I stand and rub my eyes and walk to you
Because I have no choice

‘Cause it’s by grace I have been saved
And through faith it’s not my own
It is a gift of God and not by works
Lest anyone should boast