The decision has been complex. I don't believe I was baptized in a Christian church. It was a group that denied the deity of Jesus and justification by faith. I was baptized as a six or seven year old. I wrestle and wrestle as to whether or not I was a believer. My gut is that I was. I distinctly remember the thankfulness for forgiveness and the sorrow for sin. I have several memories that make me think I was probably saved, but I know I believed things that aren't true Christian doctrine. I believe the smallest grain of true faith in Jesus can save. I know perfect doctrine doesn't save a person. I think there are people in all denominations who are truly saved yet should leave those denominations if they aren't preaching biblical truth. All that to say, maybe I had saving faith, maybe I didn't. I think I did, but wouldn't be surprised to find out differently when Jesus tells me face to face. Either way, I believe that regardless of the moment of my faith, I was crucified with Christ and eternally joined to him before the foundation of the earth.
I'm strongly opposed to re-baptism because it is a strong statement against the sufficiency of God's grace. I didn't want to be re-baptized if I believed I was correctly baptized the first time.
As I spoke to my pastor, he gave me this input that really didn't even specifically address the time of my faith, but helped me make the decision.
He told me that the church wouldn't tell a person to be baptized again if the person who baptized them had renounced their faith. So the baptism isn't really about the person performing the baptism. But he also said the baptism shouldn't be performed by an organization like the Boy Scouts. Baptism should be performed by a Christian church. As we discussed the beliefs of the group where I was raised we agreed it is not a Christian church. Since I wasn't baptized in a Christian church, I am going to be baptized this summer.
I'm very excited about the baptism. I think one of my closest friends and most influential people in my life is coming in town to baptize me. I cannot understand why God loves me. I'll never comprehend his grace.
Jesus, What a Friend for Sinners by Wilbur Chapman
Jesus! What a friend for sinners!
Jesus! Lover of my soul;
Friends may fail me, foes assail me,
He, my Savior, makes me whole
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Hallelujah! What a friend!
Saving, helping, keeping, loving,
He is with me to the end.
Jesus! What a strength in weakness!
Let me hide myself in Him.
Tempted, tried, and sometimes failing,
He, my strength, my victory wins.
Jesus! What a help in sorrow!
While the billows o’er me roll,
Even when my heart is breaking,
He, my comfort, helps my soul.
More than all in Him I find.
He hath granted me forgiveness,
I am His, and He is mine.
3 comments:
As you know, I have struggled with this question for the same reasons. I have come to the same conclusions you have and I am going to have an amazing opportunity this fall to be baptized in the Jordan River when we go to Israel with our pastor.
I also have wondered when I was truly saved. I liked the way you put it when you said that even the smallest grain of true faith in Jesus can save. Looking at it that way is reassuring to me because I think about my mom all the time and want to feel the assurance that she is in heaven. Yesterday was the 21st anniversary of her death. And she died in that church.
One of the reasons I have struggled is because she urged me, toward the end of her life, not to lose faith in Bro. Mears if she died. (He had said she would be healed.) But I realize now that my faith should never have been in any man. That concerned me. But I also know she had faith in Jesus and trust in God's will for her life and premature death. She expressed thankfulness up to the very end for God's goodness to her. I believe that even if she did have some misplaced faith in man, her greater faith was in the Lord. And that is a comfort to me. I believe the same is true for others who may not be fully embracing truth.
But the greatest comfort to my heart about any loved one is that God is just and God is sovereign and God is merciful.
In Anglicanism, we have something called "conditional baptism." If there is a question as to whether someone was baptized or not, we go through the entire service, and then, at the time of baptism, we say "If you have not been baptized, I baptize you in the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit."
It's kind of a lawyer's way out of this situation, but it does work for us.
That said, if your group did not believe in the divinity of Christ, than it wasn't a Christian group. So, you have not been baptized, and should be.
Welcome to Christianity. :)
Danny, I cried when I read this. I remember when you were wrestling with this and I prayed for you. Not that you would be baptized, but that God would show you what to do. He did. He's always faithful. I wish I could have been there. Now I can't wait to hear the rest of the story.
Post a Comment