Patient Endurance

Last week I got together with an elder from our church who is going through some deep suffering. His story of suffering was beyond most that I had heard. But in the midst of his struggles, he had hope. He kept telling me about hope and endurance and believing the promises of God that there is a reason for the suffering. There are few people who can just pour out wisdom without coming off arrogant. He was one of them. I was inspired by his humility and passion as he talked about trusting God in the midst of the hard times. As we talked he kept talking about patient endurance.

I talked to a friend this morning whose third grader is struggling with questions about God's goodness in the midst of pain. The little girl prayed for something she really cared about this summer and the situation got worse. She doesn't understand.

I called a friend last night to celebrate the UCLA win and we ended up talking about the darkness and melancholy that are surrounding him.

This past Sunday our pastor talked about the many deaths that have come to our church family this year. He talked about our church aging and death being a normal part of an aging church. It's not the old people that are dying. We've lost a forty-two year old father of two, a five year old little girl to a tragic driveway accident, and a four year old to a brain tumor.

The brokenness and sadness has stripped me. I don't think I've got the words to explain this, but I'm going to go ahead and try. I've had more doubts and questions this year than ever before. I have grappled and wrestled with so much. But every wrestling match leaves me more convinced that Jesus is my only hope. He is all I've got. Everything I have from my marriage to my sons are in his hands. And if they're not, I'm lost.

When Mary Beth Chapman was on Larry King this summer she spoke of falling to the very bottom, but landing on a sure foundation. I haven't been to the depths she has, but in a small way, I can relate. In my darkest hour, in my greatest need, I have a foundation. I'm thankful tonight for faith, but I long for my faith to become sight. I'm thankful tonight for hope, but I'm longing for my hope to end the moment I fall into my Savior's arms.

The pain is real. It's real enough to make an eight year old little girl wonder if there's a God who loves her. But, the God who loves her is real, and He will not leave his children alone. We all have a cross to carry. We've all got something God has chosen us to suffer for his glory. May he give us the faith and grace to suffer well and show the world our hopeful and patient endurance.

Jesus, I My Cross Have Taken by Henry Lyle

Jesus, I my cross have taken,
All to leave and follow Thee.
Destitute, despised, forsaken,
Thou from hence my all shall be.
Perish every fond ambition,
All I’ve sought or hoped or known.
Yet how rich is my condition!
God and heaven are still my own.

Let the world despise and leave me,
They have left my Savior, too.
Human hearts and looks deceive me;
Thou art not, like them, untrue.
O while Thou dost smile upon me,
God of wisdom, love, and might,
Foes may hate and friends disown me,
Show Thy face and all is bright.

Man may trouble and distress me,
’Twill but drive me to Thy breast.
Life with trials hard may press me;
Heaven will bring me sweeter rest.
Oh, ’tis not in grief to harm me
While Thy love is left to me;
Oh, ’twere not in joy to charm me,
Were that joy unmixed with Thee.

Go, then, earthly fame and treasure,
Come disaster, scorn and pain
In Thy service, pain is pleasure,
With Thy favor, loss is gain
I have called Thee Abba Father,
I have stayed my heart on Thee
Storms may howl, and clouds may gather;
All must work for good to me.

Soul, then know thy full salvation
Rise o’er sin and fear and care
Joy to find in every station,
Something still to do or bear.
Think what Spirit dwells within thee,
Think what Father’s smiles are thine,
Think that Jesus died to win thee,
Child of heaven, canst thou repine.

Haste thee on from grace to glory,
Armed by faith, and winged by prayer.
Heaven’s eternal days before thee,
God’s own hand shall guide us there.
Soon shall close thy earthly mission,
Soon shall pass thy pilgrim days,
Hope shall change to glad fruition,
Faith to sight, and prayer to praise