I wrote about a week ago about the lawsuit being brought against the cult where I was raised. Over the past week some of the reactions to the suit have made it back to me. My heart is broken as I hear about people choosing to side with men who covered up sexual abuse over the victims.
I have little to no contact with current members of the cult. A few months ago I attended a party with some current members, but other than that, I can't even remember the last time I talked to anyone from the group. Prior to my leaving, I spent a lot of time with many people there. Several of the groomsmen in my wedding were life-long friends from the group. My relationships were close. One of things that can easily be overlooked about cults is how much of your life is tied up in the group. It wasn't uncommon for the members to have their lives interwoven in every detail. You'd be hard-pressed to find more than a handful of people who aren't related in some way. Often times it is through marriage, but often it is also through blood. The group becomes your church, family (literally and figuratively), and in many cases there are financial ties. A lot of the people work together and for each other. The ties are so deep that leaving incorporates much more than disagreements in theology.
When so much is tied into and invested in a group, people develop an incredible capacity to deceive themselves.
If you were to meet most of the people in the group, you would like them. You would see them as decent, moral people. For the most part, your first impression would be positive. That is what is so striking about them being morally ambivalent to a criminal act that hardened criminals deem worthy of death.
It reminds me of a story I recently heard in a sermon on self-deception. Toward the end of World War Two George Patton rode into one of the concentration camps where the Nazis were trying to incinerate the bodies of thousands of Jews who had been held prisoner. They were trying to destroy the evidence. Upon seeing the bodies, Patton vomited. The next day Patton questioned the guards and the people of the town. Each person denied knowing about the concentration camp. Patton told the people of the town that regardless of whether or not they knew, the would be required to come to the camp the next day to individually bury the bodies. That night the mayor and his wife hung themselves. They left a note saying, "We didn't know, but we knew." If you would have met most of the people in that town, you would probably have a positive initial impression. The decent people of the town had the capacity to ignore the obvious truth of what was going on in their city.
For years the pastor of the cult not only knew about child molestors in the church. He even supported their ministries. Several young girls were abused because the man wouldn't do what was right. The man is dead, but the new leadership has not acknowledged the injustices of the past. Instead they have made excuses and tried to do spin control. And now the members of the cult are following the lead of their leaders. As I hear stories of decent people making excuses for their leaders and ignoring the abuse of their victims I am reminded of the mayor of the German town. I so hope their deep ties and investments to the group will stop clouding their judgment. What has been done is wrong. No excuses. No exceptions. No complexities. Children had their innocence stolen and it was covered-up by a self-professed apostle.
I pray that the members of the group will have their eyes opened to justice. I pray they will not be blinded by all of the ties they have to the group (whether financial, family, or even spiritual). I pray that real change happens through real repentance. Lastly, I pray that excuses like, "it wasn't the church's fault" and "it was a long time ago" will stop immediately.
4/30/08
4/29/08
Disturbers of Complacency
From George Grant.
“We cannot expect a more cordial welcome than disturbers of complacency have received in any other age.” Richard Weaver
“We cannot expect a more cordial welcome than disturbers of complacency have received in any other age.” Richard Weaver
4/24/08
If You're Looking for Something to Pray About...
I have recently found out the cult I was raised in is being sued because of covering up known child molestation. The news about the cover-ups was starting to swirl around the time I was leaving the group. I have mostly stayed away from writing about their immorality and injustices on this website. I usually talk about the doctrinal deficiencies of the group when it comes up. But the news of the lawsuits is weighing heavy on my mind.
My first thoughts are for the victims. There are many that have come forward over the past few years. A couple summers ago I was asked to attend a custody hearing to speak against the cult. The group that assembled that day to discuss the cult's abuses counted as many as thirty cases of sexual abuse. My gut is that is just the tip of the iceberg. If there are thirty known cases, there's a good chance there are several more. As victims come out and tell their stories, more will be encouraged to come out and begin the healing process. I'm thankful for the courage of the ones who have shared their story. I would ask you to pray for their healing.
Secondly my thoughts go to the leaders of the cult. A few months ago I watched a video of one of their services. In the video one of their elders (I think they call them board members or trustees) compared their situation to Moses' situation in Numbers 16. In that story, some men tell Moses and Aaron they are sick of them and say they have no more authority than anyone else in the Israelite camp. Moses responds by lying on his face before God and saying God will judge the situation. The guy in the video was actually comparing the situation of his cult to men rebelling against Moses. If I was an elder in a group that had covered up molestation without repentance, I would be lying on my face begging for mercy, not comparing myself to Moses. As I watched the false humility, I wanted to vomit.
There are numerous other occasions of leaders in the group making similar attempts to present a humble outward appearance. Several summers ago I attented a meeting of the group because I had heard there was going to be a night of repentance. Instead of owning up to what had been done, the cult's leader addressed the crowd by saying covering up child molestation in previous generations was similar to putting butter on a burn. The people who put butter on burns thought they were helping wounds heal. He suggested you wouldn't get mad at someone who put butter on a burn, so you shouldn't be upset about a man covering up molestation. He then proceeded to put the victim on public trial. It was one of the most twisted and sick things I have ever witnessed.
All that to say, please pray for the situation. Pray for justice for the victims. Please pray for the victims who have remined silent. Pray they have the strength to come out of hiding and begin to heal. Pray for the hearts of the leaders to turn toward Jesus and repent for the injustices of their group. And lastly, pray for the hearts of people like me who have left. We don't want to be bitter. There is such a fine line between praying for justice and mercy. I know God is angry about the injustice, false-humility, and immorality of the group. I know as his follower, I should be as well. I also know he is infinitely merciful and wants the leaders of the cult to repent. I should be merciful and want the best for them as well.
I am a weak man who tends to get fired up pretty quickly when justice is being violated. I want to be like Jesus. I want to handle this situation the way he wants me to handle it. I need prayer.
Thank you.
My first thoughts are for the victims. There are many that have come forward over the past few years. A couple summers ago I was asked to attend a custody hearing to speak against the cult. The group that assembled that day to discuss the cult's abuses counted as many as thirty cases of sexual abuse. My gut is that is just the tip of the iceberg. If there are thirty known cases, there's a good chance there are several more. As victims come out and tell their stories, more will be encouraged to come out and begin the healing process. I'm thankful for the courage of the ones who have shared their story. I would ask you to pray for their healing.
Secondly my thoughts go to the leaders of the cult. A few months ago I watched a video of one of their services. In the video one of their elders (I think they call them board members or trustees) compared their situation to Moses' situation in Numbers 16. In that story, some men tell Moses and Aaron they are sick of them and say they have no more authority than anyone else in the Israelite camp. Moses responds by lying on his face before God and saying God will judge the situation. The guy in the video was actually comparing the situation of his cult to men rebelling against Moses. If I was an elder in a group that had covered up molestation without repentance, I would be lying on my face begging for mercy, not comparing myself to Moses. As I watched the false humility, I wanted to vomit.
There are numerous other occasions of leaders in the group making similar attempts to present a humble outward appearance. Several summers ago I attented a meeting of the group because I had heard there was going to be a night of repentance. Instead of owning up to what had been done, the cult's leader addressed the crowd by saying covering up child molestation in previous generations was similar to putting butter on a burn. The people who put butter on burns thought they were helping wounds heal. He suggested you wouldn't get mad at someone who put butter on a burn, so you shouldn't be upset about a man covering up molestation. He then proceeded to put the victim on public trial. It was one of the most twisted and sick things I have ever witnessed.
All that to say, please pray for the situation. Pray for justice for the victims. Please pray for the victims who have remined silent. Pray they have the strength to come out of hiding and begin to heal. Pray for the hearts of the leaders to turn toward Jesus and repent for the injustices of their group. And lastly, pray for the hearts of people like me who have left. We don't want to be bitter. There is such a fine line between praying for justice and mercy. I know God is angry about the injustice, false-humility, and immorality of the group. I know as his follower, I should be as well. I also know he is infinitely merciful and wants the leaders of the cult to repent. I should be merciful and want the best for them as well.
I am a weak man who tends to get fired up pretty quickly when justice is being violated. I want to be like Jesus. I want to handle this situation the way he wants me to handle it. I need prayer.
Thank you.
4/22/08
This Is My Father's World - Happy Earth Day - Don't Fear
As I was walking into school this morning a student walked up and asked me if capuchin monkeys are endangered. Since I don't even touch dogs, I can't really claim to be an expert on any animal. The reason he was wondering was because today is Earth Day and his teacher is giving credit to anyone who brings in an endangered stuffed animal. For the students sake, I hope they are. For the sake of the capuchins, let's hope they're bigger than ever.
As we gathered for chapel we sang the hymn, 'This is My Father's World.' I talked to the kids about fear and how people use it to motivate us to take care of the earth. Fear can be an excellent motivator. Kids who are terrified of consequences will modify their behavior. But their hearts won't change. Hearts change and behavior is transformed when the motivator is love.
As I listen to the current debates regarding the earth and its imminent demise, I'm reminded of God's most often repeated commandment. Do not fear. It's in the bible 366 times. Once for every day of the year, including a leap year.
God made the world and everything in it. He called the skies, seas, land, and trees good. He put us here and mandated that we work and care for his creation. We should love the earth. We should protect the animals and strive to maintain the beauty God has placed here. We should do it because it is his world and he has told us to.
I think Christians should recycle. I think we should pick up any trash we see. I think we should be responsible with energy, gas, and food. But we shouldn't do any of these things out of fear. We should do it because it is our Father's world. The creation glorifies him. We do too, when we honor him by obeying his commandment to take care of his earth.
As we gathered for chapel we sang the hymn, 'This is My Father's World.' I talked to the kids about fear and how people use it to motivate us to take care of the earth. Fear can be an excellent motivator. Kids who are terrified of consequences will modify their behavior. But their hearts won't change. Hearts change and behavior is transformed when the motivator is love.
As I listen to the current debates regarding the earth and its imminent demise, I'm reminded of God's most often repeated commandment. Do not fear. It's in the bible 366 times. Once for every day of the year, including a leap year.
God made the world and everything in it. He called the skies, seas, land, and trees good. He put us here and mandated that we work and care for his creation. We should love the earth. We should protect the animals and strive to maintain the beauty God has placed here. We should do it because it is his world and he has told us to.
I think Christians should recycle. I think we should pick up any trash we see. I think we should be responsible with energy, gas, and food. But we shouldn't do any of these things out of fear. We should do it because it is our Father's world. The creation glorifies him. We do too, when we honor him by obeying his commandment to take care of his earth.
This is my Father's world,
and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world:
I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.
This is my Father's world,
the birds their carols raise,
the morning light, the lily white,
declare their maker's praise.
This is my Father's world:
he shines in all that's fair;
in the rustling grass I hear him pass;
he speaks to me everywhere.
This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!
4/7/08
'Observing' Communion
Our church has recently begun serving communion by having each member approach the table and be served by an elder. After you eat and drink, you return to your seat while the other members follow the line to the table.
After my turn, I went back to my seat and saw two things that pointed to our faithful God.
The first was a little kid, probably about ten years old, who was walking back to his seat holding the bread and grape juice in both hands. All of his concentration was focused on not spilling the grape juice. So much in fact, I think he would have failed a sobriety test. I think he managed to keep the juice in the cup, but he dropped the bread on the floor. He picked it up, returned to his seat, and ate.
God knows how clumsy we all are. He knows our weaknesses and doubts. He has given us a meal to help us remember he is with us. A meal. How considerate and humble is that? A meal that a clumsy ten year old can drop and spill. I'm thankful my God knows how weak I am. I'm thankful he has given me a meal to remember his broken body and spilled blood with.
The second thing I saw was a woman with her daughter walking in line crying. She lost her husband in a car crash this winter. The sermon was about heaven and being reunited with loved ones. The pastor encouraged us that heaven was not about making new things, but making all things new.
Her face was full of gratitude and pain. It was an intense picture of where we live as Christians. There is a confident and defiant hope that makes us know all will be well. Every tragedy will not only be made right, but will someday even make sense. But until then we're left with the reality of the pain we experience here on earth.
I saw myself in the clumsy boy and the broken woman. But mostly, I was reminded of the only God who came and walked with us, cried with us, ate with us, and was broken for us.
After my turn, I went back to my seat and saw two things that pointed to our faithful God.
The first was a little kid, probably about ten years old, who was walking back to his seat holding the bread and grape juice in both hands. All of his concentration was focused on not spilling the grape juice. So much in fact, I think he would have failed a sobriety test. I think he managed to keep the juice in the cup, but he dropped the bread on the floor. He picked it up, returned to his seat, and ate.
God knows how clumsy we all are. He knows our weaknesses and doubts. He has given us a meal to help us remember he is with us. A meal. How considerate and humble is that? A meal that a clumsy ten year old can drop and spill. I'm thankful my God knows how weak I am. I'm thankful he has given me a meal to remember his broken body and spilled blood with.
The second thing I saw was a woman with her daughter walking in line crying. She lost her husband in a car crash this winter. The sermon was about heaven and being reunited with loved ones. The pastor encouraged us that heaven was not about making new things, but making all things new.
Her face was full of gratitude and pain. It was an intense picture of where we live as Christians. There is a confident and defiant hope that makes us know all will be well. Every tragedy will not only be made right, but will someday even make sense. But until then we're left with the reality of the pain we experience here on earth.
I saw myself in the clumsy boy and the broken woman. But mostly, I was reminded of the only God who came and walked with us, cried with us, ate with us, and was broken for us.
4/4/08
Understanding God's Jealousy - Coaches Made In God's Image
I wrote this for my sports website Coram Deo Sports a few months ago. I thought it was relevant to the Oprah discussion.
Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
God and jealousy don't seem like words that belong in the same sentence. Jealousy usually has a negative connotation. We usually think of jealousy in terms of envy and disdain. But God's jealousy is not negative. It is actually one of the most humbling compliments he could give us.
God's jealousy is a complex passion for our good. It is an intimate commitment to our well-being. It is a fiery refusal to be indifferent to our weaknesses and deficiencies. God refuses to sit by and
casually watch us settle for a mediocrity.
Coaches (good ones) provide an excellent picture of this type of love. Athletics are a microcosm of life. Pride and complacency are traps faced everyday. Highs change to lows in a matter of seconds. Selfishness is always threatening everything.
It is a coach's job to teach players to find a way to make the most of their individual abilities in the midst of the battle. The best coaches mix strength and gentleness, toughness and grace, the highest demands with great understanding. Coaches should have an intense refusal to allow their players to settle for less than their best, and at the same time love the players when they don't measure up. Coaches should get angry, not at their players, but for their players. The anger should be grounded in knowing what the players are capable of accomplishing.
This type of love cannot be given without deep knowledge of the players. Nobody can pretend to know what someone is capable of accomplishing. A fake will be identified quickly. Likewise, this type of love has to be sincere and unselfish. Virtuous jealousy is impossible with personal ambitions that outweigh value of the player.
So, next time you see Bobby Knight 'advise' a player on how to properly run motion offense or Bill Belichick gently reminding Rodney Harrison not to cheat, remember you're witnessing a glimpse of God's glory. He has chosen to reveal himself in the oddest of creatures - coaches.
Deuteronomy 4:24 For the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.
God and jealousy don't seem like words that belong in the same sentence. Jealousy usually has a negative connotation. We usually think of jealousy in terms of envy and disdain. But God's jealousy is not negative. It is actually one of the most humbling compliments he could give us.
God's jealousy is a complex passion for our good. It is an intimate commitment to our well-being. It is a fiery refusal to be indifferent to our weaknesses and deficiencies. God refuses to sit by and
casually watch us settle for a mediocrity.
Coaches (good ones) provide an excellent picture of this type of love. Athletics are a microcosm of life. Pride and complacency are traps faced everyday. Highs change to lows in a matter of seconds. Selfishness is always threatening everything.
It is a coach's job to teach players to find a way to make the most of their individual abilities in the midst of the battle. The best coaches mix strength and gentleness, toughness and grace, the highest demands with great understanding. Coaches should have an intense refusal to allow their players to settle for less than their best, and at the same time love the players when they don't measure up. Coaches should get angry, not at their players, but for their players. The anger should be grounded in knowing what the players are capable of accomplishing.
This type of love cannot be given without deep knowledge of the players. Nobody can pretend to know what someone is capable of accomplishing. A fake will be identified quickly. Likewise, this type of love has to be sincere and unselfish. Virtuous jealousy is impossible with personal ambitions that outweigh value of the player.
So, next time you see Bobby Knight 'advise' a player on how to properly run motion offense or Bill Belichick gently reminding Rodney Harrison not to cheat, remember you're witnessing a glimpse of God's glory. He has chosen to reveal himself in the oddest of creatures - coaches.
4/2/08
Oprah Rejects the Highest Compliment
In this video Oprah rejects the God of the bible because love and jealousy can't gel with her spirit.
(I haven't checked out this book or author - this isn't an endorsement)
"Jealousy is the flip-side of love; it is required where exclusive love is called for." Dale Ralph Davis
"Jealousy is love burst into its proper flame." DRD
If my sons call everybody in the neighborhood daddy, I should be jealous. If Rebecca spends more time with another man than she does with me, I should be jealous. The boys have one daddy. Rebecca has one husband. If no jealousy was stirred in those situations, my dedication to my family would be questioned.
There is only one God of the bible. He has revealed himself through his word and through his son. Jesus is either who he said he was, or a horrible impostor who should be shunned and ridiculed.
If humans, who are created in his image, worship anything other than him and he isn't jealous, then he doesn't love us. It should humble us to hear that the creator of the earth is jealous for our love. Our sinful nature turns the ultimate compliment into a characteristic to reject and run from.
(I haven't checked out this book or author - this isn't an endorsement)
"Jealousy is the flip-side of love; it is required where exclusive love is called for." Dale Ralph Davis
"Jealousy is love burst into its proper flame." DRD
If my sons call everybody in the neighborhood daddy, I should be jealous. If Rebecca spends more time with another man than she does with me, I should be jealous. The boys have one daddy. Rebecca has one husband. If no jealousy was stirred in those situations, my dedication to my family would be questioned.
There is only one God of the bible. He has revealed himself through his word and through his son. Jesus is either who he said he was, or a horrible impostor who should be shunned and ridiculed.
If humans, who are created in his image, worship anything other than him and he isn't jealous, then he doesn't love us. It should humble us to hear that the creator of the earth is jealous for our love. Our sinful nature turns the ultimate compliment into a characteristic to reject and run from.
4/1/08
The Worst Combination Ever
April Fool's Day and elementary school is the worst combination ever. I don't know if I will make it through the day if one more kid pretends to be hurt or tells me my shoes are untied.
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