For All the Saints by WIlliam How

For All the Saints

For all the saints,
who from their labors rest,
Who Thee by faith
before the world confessed,
Thy Name, O Jesus,
be forever blessed.
Alleluia, Allelu...

Thou wast their rock,
their fortress and their might;
Thou, Lord, their captain
in the well fought fight;
Thou, in the darkness
drear, their one true Light.
Alleluia, Allelu...

O may Thy soldiers,
faithful, true and bold,
Fight as the saints
who nobly fought of old,
And win with them
the victor's crown of gold.
Alleluia, Allelu...

The golden evening
brightens in the west;
Soon, soon to faithful
warriors comes their rest;
Sweet is the calm
of paradise the blessed.
Alleluia, Allelu...

But lo! There breaks
a yet more glorious day;
The saints triumphant
rise in bright array;
The King of glory
passes on his way,
Alleluia, Allelu...

From earth's wide bounds,
from ocean's farthest coast,
Through gates of pearl
streams in the countless host,
Singing to Father,
Son, and Holy Ghost,
Alleluia, Alleluia!

I Am by Jill Phillips

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest
The tide can change so fast,
But I will stay
The same through the past,
The same in future, same today

I am constant; I am near
I am peace that shatters all your secret fears
I am holy; I am wise
I'm the only one who knows your heart's desires
Your heart's desires

Oh weary, tired and worn,
Let out your sighs
And drop that heavy load you hold
Cause Mine is light

I know you through and through;
There's no need to hide
I want to show you love
That is deep and high and wide

Oh gently lay your head
Upon my chest
And I will comfort you
Like a mother while you rest

All Shall Be Well

The first song on our radio after our doctor's appointment was Andrew Peterson's 'All Shall Be Well.' It was on a mix I made Rebecca about two months ago. I grabbed the cd out of our van when we swapped cars with my dad after giving him the boys. The music that played on our drive home was amazing. Each song was filled with hope and grace. I'm planning on putting each song on the website for the next few days. Here's the first.

We touched down on the sound
At the top of the world
In the land of the midnight sun
Where the frozen river melts away
And breaks into a run
Into the sea, into the mighty waves
That waited just to see it
From a long way off that river thawed
And the tide ran out to meet it
“Welcome home, unfrozen river, welcome home”

‘Cause all shall be well, all shall be well
Break the chains of the gates of Hell
Still all manner of things will be well

See the quiet hearts of the children of
The children of this land
They have stayed alive in the day-long night
By the fires that warm their hands
There is a wilderness inside them
It is dark and thick and deep
And beside the fire at the heart of that wood
Is a precious missing sheep
So go on in, hold your torch, let it shine

‘Cause all shall be well, all shall be well
Break the chains of the gates of Hell
Still all manner of things will be well
All shall be well, all shall be well
The Word of God will never fail
And all manner of things will be well

There’s a light in the darkness
There’s an end to the night

I saw the sun go down on a frozen ocean
As the man in the moon was rising
And he rode the night all full and bright
With his face at the far horizon
And the night can be so long, so long
You think you’ll never get up again
But listen now, it’s a mighty cloud of
Witnesses around you—they say
“Hold on, just hold on
Hold on to the end
And all shall be well”

Thank You

The emails, phone calls, and comments left on this blog have been amazing. Thanks to all of you who have shared your stories, prayers, and love. We are overwhelmed by your friendship.

Traveler

Rebecca and I have been looking forward to today for about a month. It was our first doctor’s appointment for our third baby. The first appointment is always my favorite because of seeing the baby’s heartbeat for the first time. As the nurse began the ultrasound, we quickly knew something was wrong. There was no visible heartbeat and the nurse seemed concerned.

We went back to our doctor and learned the baby probably died two weeks ago in Rebecca’s womb. She began to explain miscarriages and how doctors don’t really understand why it happens so frequently. She began to assure Rebecca that there was nothing anybody could have done to prevent the miscarriage and that there really aren’t any answers. If you know Rebecca and her industrial engineer personality, you know she loves and needs answers. But as our doctor explained there were no answers, Rebecca politely interrupted by gently saying, “We don’t have to have answers.” Her resting heart and humble wisdom gave me strength. We are standing on God's promises that all things are working for our good.

My heart is grieving tonight as I think about the life we didn’t get to meet. Our two emotions since finding out about number three have been giddy joy and realistic terror. The thought of three under four sounded fun and scary. We were excited about the boys sharing a room to make room for this baby. We both resigned from jobs we enjoy and were anxiously anticipating the new life.

About three weeks ago, Rebecca had some slight bleeding, and we were worried. That night, the scripture I was reading was Psalm 121. It has been a verse that has given me hope and strength this year. We sing a version of the hymn at Covenant’s chapel and I sing it to Joshua at bedtime.

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Driving home from the hospital, Rebecca and I talked about what we would name our third baby. Obviously, we don’t know if the baby was a boy or girl. We talked about Psalm 121 and decided to read it together when we got home and see if some word seemed right. The Bible I picked up titled Psalm 121 ‘The Traveler’s Psalm.’ So, we’ve decided to name the baby Traveler.

Our hearts are heavy, but thankful. I am confident that the first arms our baby knew were the arms of Jesus. I believe the Lord has kept Traveler from all harm and will watch over our baby both now and forevermore. The baby grew in Rebecca for about six weeks and was taken home to Jesus before ever knowing pain or harm. We are thankful for the grace and good news of the gospel. We are thankful for our loving and gracious God, who loves the unborn as much as the born and has wrapped our baby in his eternal, loving arms.

Please pray for Rebecca as the hardest part of the miscarriage is still in front of her. We are asking God to allow her body to naturally miscarry the baby. We are hoping she doesn’t have to go through the D&C.

Beloved

Beloved by Derek Webb

beloved these are dangerous times
because you are weightless like a leaf from the vine
and the wind has blown you all over town
because there is nothing holding you to the ground

so now you would rather be
a slave again than free from the law

beloved listen to me
don’t believe all that you see
and don’t you ever let anyone tell you
that there’s anything that you need
but me

beloved these are perilous days
when your culture is so set in it’s ways
that you will listen to salesmen and thieves
preaching other than the truth you’ve received

because they are telling lies
for they cannot circumcise your hearts

beloved there is nothing more
no more blessings and no more rewards
than the treasure of my body and blood
given freely to all daughters and sons

The Father Turned His Face Away

I was driving home from Blockbuster when Rebecca called me to tell me Joshua's temperature was 104.1. As I got in my car I started praying for Joshua's fever to break. One of the most difficult things of parenting is the realization of my own incapability to provide for my kids. I can give them Tylenol and cold baths, but I can't make fevers break. As I contemplated my dependence on God to help my kids, I thought about the cross. The Father was not helpless, but he willingly withheld his smile from the Son. The Son willingly accepted the wrath of the Father because of my sin. I'm a father who wants to help and can't. He is the Father who could have rescued, but didn't. I'm thankful again for the gospel. I'm thankful again for the God who saves.




How Deep the Father's Love For Us by Stuart Townsend


How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

The Holidays...

A good friend has written about the holiday season on her blog. Here is the first paragraph.

Untitled gratitude
The holiday season is literally around the corner; the time of year we juggle schedules begins-all over again. I run out of steam often, but at the holiday season, raging guilt and self-contempt escalate. The very time of year in which I could take inventory of blessings is shawdowed by penumbra of winter; I stare into a cluttered room and stifle weeping. I. me. my.

Check out the rest of the post here...

Children by Jill Phillips

Everybody at my house is home sick. Joshua's fever is 103.5. Rebecca is coming off a day of miserable sickness. Andrew has a sinus infection, and I've got a little bit of all their stuff but not as bad as any of them.

Driving home from Andrew's doctor appointment, I heard this song from the new Jill Phillips' cd. The cd is great. You should buy it.

I know you better than anyone
I know that look in your eyes
The one where they say you are just like me
And that comes as little surprise
Cause you’re taking in everything I do
While I second-guess all I thought I knew

Oh, I love you so much
So how great is His love
That we should be called
We should be called
We should be called His children

I want to keep you from crying
I want to save you from pain
I’d lay down my life for your life to go on
But couldn’t let you do the same
So what kind of love would give selflessly
And take such joy in giving you to me

Oh, I love you so much
So how great is His love
That we should be called
We should be called
We should be called His children

I know I’m not enough for you
And you know this at your young age
Even though my love will fail you
The love that He has will not change

Oh, I love you so much
So how great is His love
That we should be called
We should be called
We should be called His children

Broken-Hearted Joy

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Corinthians 4:7-9

I think the term 'broken-hearted joy' comes from John Piper, but I'm not positive. A friend of mine who loves Piper's teaching has a yellow sticky-note on her printer that says 'broken-hearted joy.'

Joshua has a book called 'The Jesus Storybook Bible' (BUY THIS BOOK). In the end of the book the author summarizes part of Revelation like this, "One day, John knew, Heaven would come down and mend God's broken world and make it our true, perfect home once again. And he knew, in some mysterious way that would be hard to explain, that everything was going to be more wonderful for once having been so sad. And he knew then that the ending of The Story was going to be so great, it would make all the sadness and tears and everything seem like just a shadow that is chased away by the morning sun. "I'm on my way," said Jesus. "I'll be there soon."

In a way I can't understand, I'm holding onto the hope of that coming day with all I've got. In a way I can't understand, my heart knows the suffering and pain that strikes me down, pushes me in, and perplexes me is making my future with my Savior that much sweeter. The day is coming soon when my faith will become sight and I'll see Jesus and seeing him will make me like him.

Conversations With Andrew

Today Andrew was in his room for a time-out. He wanted out and we heard him calling ...

"Mommy?"

"Daddy?"

"Lightning McQueen?"

A Call For Help

I Wrote A Poem

I've put a lot of opinions on this blog. This is by far the most vulnerable I've felt about a post. I have a family member who I've been thinking about a lot lately. As I was thinking about him and his life choices, this poem kind of just came out.

The Slave

Too afraid to feel, I hide
Too afraid to see, I build my fate
Too afraid to admit the weakness
Can I change? Is it too late?

What if courage came from outside me?
What if humility didn’t cost a thing?
Would I trade my pridestone castle?
Would I again to my honor cling?

To be free from all this pain and pretense
To be given the liberty to sing
To be forgiven of all my undoings
To let my deepest longings ring

A dream I dream is to not be lonely
A ship floating freely, I long to be
A nightmare I’ve lived and the end seems nowhere
A slave I have been, and a slave I will be

Two of the Reasons I Haven't Been Writing Much Lately