A Sad Day and a Year's Lesson

I spent yesterday in Southern Illinois at my great-grandma's funeral. I dreaded the service because I knew the content would be based on the theology of her cult. Her pastor talked about Jesus coming to make it possible for his people to live sinlessly in this world. He said Jesus didn't come to give us an easy road and then proceeded to talk about how easy it is to completely stop sinning when you just set your mind to it. He went on to mock God's holiness and God's gospel. My heart was beating out of my chest as I fought the urge to talk back to him. It's probably good that I kept my mouth shut, but I do wonder a little.

It breaks my heart to hear people boldly proclaim a false-gospel. I saw multiple family members who are still committed to the heresy of the group. I am so torn between utter gratitude for being delivered from the cult and feeling heartbroken for those who I love who are still living in deception. As I listened to the preacher, my mind settled on the basic difference between Christianity and every other religion (including false-Christianity).

And this is what reminded me of the point God has been driving home to me this year. He is the God who saves.

Listening to the man rant on how God is drawn to our morality and striving reminded me of the slavery and shackles I grew up in. Listening to him describe the narrow path as our moral accomplishments reminded me of the prison cell of salvation by works. The narrow path is not our morality. The narrow way is faith in Jesus. The broad path that many find is not limited to immorality, but rather the idea that we are good enough to save ourselves. I am so thankful to serve a God who saved me and not one who is simply looking for a partnership. The cult I grew up in sang this song ...

"He gave me a chance to strive for his bride - Now something is working deep down inside - He's working on a people so that he'll be glorified - And he gave me a chance to strive"

There is no good news in their gospel. Jesus' sacrifice for them is like a golden ticket that gets you an invitation to the game. It's like Willy Wonka inviting you to his mansion and then eliminating you because you don't measure up. It's a great movie, but a horrible gospel.

I am thankful to serve the God who saves. I am thankful he saves the vilest of sinners like myself. I am thankful he has covered me in his blood and that I can boldly say that even now I am so united to Christ that I sit with him presently in heavenly places. I am thankful my future is sealed by the blessed Holy Spirit, and I am thankful my obdedience glorifies him but earns me absolutely nothing. I stand completely and totally robed in the righteousness of my Savior Jesus and I dare not add anything to that righteousness.

My heart is so torn today. I'm so blessed to be free. I'm so sad for those who I love those who aren't. Please pray for my family and friends who are still held in bondage.

Here are a couple songs that went through my mind as I wrote this post...





(Some of the pictures in the videos are better than others)

Listen to Linus

Isaac Watts

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

Overwhelmed but Hopeful

We just found out our neighbor died of cancer. He and his lovely wife have been one of our greatest highlights of living here. We will miss him dearly. I'm overwhelmed right now. I feel like I don't even want to move, but there is a strength and stillness in my soul making me know all shall be well. We went to our favorite concert of the year last night. We heard the story of God saving his people. I learn a little bit more everyday that Jesus is all I've got. I'm also learning he is more than enough.

John Henry Hopkins

Glorious now behold Him arise
King and God and Sacrifice
Alleluia, Alleluia
Earth to heav'n replies

O Star of wonder, star of night
Star with royal beauty bright
Westward leading, still proceeding
Guide us to Thy perfect light

Not Sure Who Wrote This One

Then let us all with one accord
Sing praises to our heavenly Lord
That hath made Heaven and earth of nought
And with his blood mankind has bought.
Noel, Noel, Noel, Noel
Born is the King of Israel!

Two For One ... Conversations With Joshua

Number one ... After coming home from buying our Christmas tree. Excuse me, coming home from buying Joshua's tree (also my favorite U2 album) Joshua had an accident and was sitting on the potty. I told him he was a big boy who needs to go poo poo in the potty. He replied, "You need to put lights on my tree."

Number Two ... Tonight my dad watched the boys while we went Christmas shopping. At 9:15 my dad told Joshua it was time for bed. He replied, "Papaw, the clock is broken."

Meanwhile, Andrew labeled the parts of his face ... "Eyes, ears, moufth, nose, boogers."

Amidst the loss and pain, we are surrounded by signs of life. We're thankful for the two boys God has given us. Thanks, Karen.

Christmas Card or Hostage Situation?

Seriously?

Seriously?

When the Saints...

Today's been tough. The miscarriage started last night around 9:00. We were at a fundraiser concert and one of the acts performed one of the other acts songs. The second act had to improvise and come up with another song. The first lyrics were ... "I lift my eyes to the hills" - another Psalm 121 reference and another amazing act of God's ever-present grace.

Tonight I'm hurting. I'm thinking about our pain and the pain of so many surrounding us. This world is good, but this world is broken. I'm clinging to the promise that my Savior is making all things new. This song has carried me this evening.




When the Saints by Sara Groves

Lord I have a heavy burden of all I've seen and know
It's more than I can handle
But your word is burning like a fire shut up in my bones
and I cannot let it go

And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

Lord it's all that I can't carry and cannot leave behind
it often overwhelms me
but when I think of all who've gone before and lived the faithful life
their courage compells me
And when I'm weary and overwrought
with so many battles left unfought

I think of Paul and Silas in the prison yard
I hear their song of freedom rising to the stars

I see the shepherd Moses in the Pharohs court
I hear his call for freedom for the people of the Lord

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them

I see the long quiet walk along the Underground Railroad
I see the slave awakening to the value of her soul

I see the young missionary and the angry spear
I see his family returning with no trace of fear

I see the long hard shadows of Calcutta nights
I see the sisters standing by the dying man's side

I see the young girl huddled on the brothel floor
I see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door

I see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road
I see the world on his shoulders and my easy load

And when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
and when the Saints go marching in
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them
I want to be one of them

Intimate Grace

This has been a pretty rough week. There is a sadness kind of hanging over our home. We're thankful and blessed and full of hope, but we're sad. Another reminder of the broken-hearted joy that we will have until the final day when Jesus makes all things new.

One particular struggle for me has been sleep. I just can't. I stay awake and think. Sometimes my thoughts are full of fear and anxiety. I just find myself worrying. Sometimes about real problems and sometimes about ridiculous and trivial things. And when I do sleep Joshua has nightmares about somebody taking a toy away from him.

I won't bore you with more details, but it's been a rough week and it's been a tough year to year and a half. I've asked several of my older and wiser friends if things are getting worse or if I'm just noticing the sadness more. Most seem to think it's a combination. I've written several times about the losses at our church. We've lost fathers of young children and young children. We've had terrible accidents involving cars and cancer. We've been marked by loss and grief. It's been hard.

And I say all of this to set up a story about God's amazing, intimate grace. I believe he knows when a hair from my head falls. I don't even know why he cares, but I believe he does.

Monday night was a particularly rough night of sleep for me. I think I was awake from 2-5:30. Falling asleep at 5:30 makes actually getting up at 6:30 a little like getting Joshua to eat vegetables. I laid in bed and thought. I wrestled with anxiety, anger, desperation, and worry. I thought about more things than I can even remember, but it was not a night of peace. I have actually been scared of the night this week.

Wednesday morning I managed to open my eyes (not by 6:30) and get ready for work (so it isn't actually as hard as trying to get vegetables into Joshua). I got in my car and pushed the cd button to turn off the sports-talk radio. I had turned off my cd player the afternoon before on my way home from work.

These are the lyrics I heard.

How hard this can be
Good things always are
But they are worth it
Every tear, every sleepless night
Every bruise, every wounded pride
Every day where you’ve lifted your eyes
Where does my help come from?
Where does my help come from?
Where does my help come from?
Where does my help come from?

- Andrew Osenga (from Good Things Always Are)

If you read the post about us losing the baby this week, you recognize Psalm 121 in the lyrics.

So, on November 12th, when Rebecca had concerns about the baby, I was reading Psalm 121. We read it together and prayed the Psalm over the baby. Three weeks later, we were naming the baby Traveler because the Psalm is called 'The Traveler's Psalm.' A week later, coming off sleepless nights of fear, pride, and tears I turn on my cd player to this exact lyric.

I rest this morning in God's sovereignty. I rest in the intimate grace of my Father in heaven who knows exactly what I need - whether it's a night of wrestling with fears or a morning of wrestling with his promises. He is there. He is not silent. And he is good.

On a little side-note, you can download that song and four others at www.ilikeandy.com . I recommend it.

My New All-Time Favorite Commercial

Rise Up by Ben Shive

I hope I have these lyrics correct. I'm not sure about a few of them. I said this last week, but all of the songs I've been posting were on the cd Rebecca and I listened to on the way home from the doctor's appointment. We were and are amazed at God's gentle whispers.


Rise Up by Ben Shive

Every stone that makes you stumble
and cuts you when you fall
Every serpent here that strikes your heel
to curse you when you crawl
The king of love one day will crush them all

And every sad seduction and every clever lie
Every word that woos and wounds the pilgrim children of the sky
The king of love will break them by and by

And you will rise up in the end
You will rise up in the end
I know the night is cruel
but the day is coming soon
And you will rise up in the end

If the thief had to come to plunder when the children were alone
If he ravaged every daughter and murdered every son
Would not their father see this? Would not his anger burn?
And would he not repay the tyrant in the day of his return?
Oh, wait. Oh, wait the day of his return

Cause he will rise up in the end
He will rise up in the end
I know you need a Savior
He is patient in his anger
And he will rise up in the end

And when the stars come crashing to the sea
and the high and mighty fall down on their knees
When you see the Son descending in the sky
the chains of death will fall around your feet

You will rise up in the end
you will rise up in the end
You will rise up in the end

Second Grade Story of the Day

A second grader came up to me today. He was smiling and I noticed he had band-aids on both of his hands. He said, "Mr. Bryant, I got a Swiss Army Knife for advent. I cut myself twice."