More Haiku

Irrational thoughts
Scoring strangers give me worth
Fantasy football

I'm Not Making This Up...

Rebecca and I are in Minnesota for the Desiring God Conference. Leaving the conference center, we heard a Minnesotan recognize another Minnesotan and exclaim, "How the heck are ya?"

I haven't stopped looking for William H. Macy.

On Jordan's Stormy Banks I Stand by Samuel Stennett

On Jordan's Stormy Banks

On Jordan’s stormy banks I stand,
And cast a wishful eye
To Canaan’s fair and happy land,
Where my possessions lie.

All o’er those wide extended plains,
Shines one eternal day;
There God the Son forever reigns,
And scatters night away.

I am bound (I am bound)
I am bound (I am bound)
I am bound for promised land,
I am bound (I am bound)
I am bound (I am bound)
I am bound for promised land.

No chilling winds nor poisonous breath
Can reach that healthful shore;
Sickness, sorrow, pain and death,
Are felt and feared no more.

When shall I reach that happy place,
And be forever blessed?
When shall I see my Father’s face,
And in His bosom rest?

Humbling Conversations with Andrew

Andrew and I went into Joshua's room today to get him up from his nap. Joshua was, as usual, wearing a Superman costume. I took the cape, put it on my back, and pretended to fly around the room. I told them I was Superdad.

Andrew replied, "Take off the cape. You're not Superdad."

Sounds like a bad parenting book from Lifeway.

Promises

There, the trees will sing
If so, imagine His friends
He will be their light

The King is Coming

I'm tired. Really tired. I'm 'tempted to get out of my car and pull other people out of their cars' tired. Three or four nights a week, I'm waking up around three and not going back to sleep until about six. I get up around six-thirty, so six is not a great time to fall asleeep. I wake up and feel anxious. Sometimes my anxiety seems rational. Other times the anxiety just shows up with nothing really attached to it.

I've been battling fear. I have nightmares about losing the boys. Sometimes when I'm awake, I dream up nightmare scenarios about something bad happening to them. Most of the time, I'm reminded there are people in the world who are experiencing, or who have actually experienced the reality of my nightmares. There are parentless children. There are countless victims of injustice whose parents ache for them.

I feel more aware of the brokenness of this world everyday. But, I have hope.

My King has promised he's coming back. He's making all things new. He is the Prince of Peace and he's bringing justice with him. His kingdom will have no end and the government will be on his shoulders. No more children will starve, get sick, or be taken from their families. Fear and anxiety will live forever with their father. Peace and joy will rest with theirs'.

My hope rests in my Savior. My life and future are safely hidden in him. I am humbled and grateful.

Conversations Between Joshua and Andrew

Joshua was walking through the house singing, "Jesus loves me, this I know."

Andrew interrupted with, "Jesus doesn't love you. He loves me."

He also wanted to sing a new song a bedtime, "Jesus Loves Drew, This I Know."

Race's Roll? Kanye West and Taylor Swift

I've got to admit, I'm a little perplexed by the whole Kanye West/Taylor Swift situation. Yes, he was out of line. Yes, he was rude, inconsiderate, and juvenile. But he didn't exactly interrupt an inaugural address. I didn't watch this year's VMA's, but I'm pretty confident the Kanye moment wasn't the most offensive of the night.

I can't help but wonder if some of the outrage is actually based on the fact that a black rapper interrupted a young, pretty white girl's acceptance speech. I'm not saying you're a racist if you think he was rude. He was. He admitted (rather weakly) that what he did was rude. I'm talking about the outrage. Would Facebook have been filled with anger if Eminem would have done the same thing to Beyonce? Would it even have been as big of a deal if Eminem had interrupted Taylor Swift? Obviously, I can't say for sure, but I don't think it would have been as big of news.

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comment section.

Conversations WIth Joshua

Our boys are picky eaters. Andrew used to eat until threw up (seriously), but has recently gotten a little bit finicky.

We've heard a lot of excuses for not eating. Last night's will probably not be outdone.

Rebecca - "Joshua, eat your dinner."

Joshua - "But, mommy. If I eat my dinner, I won't have any for the long, cold winter."

Not that Any of You Care...

I don't know of any UCLA fans who read this blog, so I guess I'm doing this for myself.

But, come to think of it, I know several readers who hate UT, so maybe they will enjoy a little post-game breakdown.

First of all, Sweet Niblets (this expression was new to me as well)! If you would have told me UCLA would win both of these games, I've had called you crazy. If you'd have told me UCLA would have won one of two, I'd have been giddy. Winning both games blew my mind.

Secondly, it was the perfect week to play UT. They were coming off a giant (only in point spread) win over Western Kentucky and probably thinking they were a little better than they really are. They were also a week away from playing Florida on the road. It was a classic trap game for the Vols. Going into the game, that trap was my only hope.

Then I remembered the Volunteer QB situation and hope came alive.

Then I remembered the Volunteer coaching situation and hope gave way to promise.

Rick Neuheisel is so good. A friend (a friend who is a ND fan and needs prayer today) told me he heard a reporter say that whenever Neuheisel walks into a room he thinks he's the smartest guy there. The reporter also said, "He's usually right." Meanwhile, the other sideline was filled by a guy who thinks the same thing and seems to usually be wrong. I watched Neuheisel coach all day. When his guys made mistakes, he taught them. When they succeeded, he kept them humble. I love watching him coach. Can't say the same for Kiffin. Maybe the cameras just didn't catch him doing those things, but I just didn't see him coaching. I saw his dad coaching, but never him. I read this morning that he got onto his players for finger pointing after the game. If players at that level are pointing fingers after a game, there's a lack of leadership. When Kiffin told the press his players were pointing fingers, there were three pointed back at himself.

Lastly, I met a young girl at a restaurant yesterday. She was wearing a lot of orange. My boys and I were all in our UCLA clothes. She and I talked a lot about the game and football in general. She walked out the door and said, "I hope both teams can win today." I must confess my response was not completely indicative of my true thoughts. I replied, "I hope your team plays well." I'm not going to put into print what I thought.

Anyway, I'm realizing I've taken this whole UT hatred thing a little too far. There is one little girl out there who likes the Vols and has genuine likability.

Maybe she'll rub off on the rest of them.

GO BRUINS!!!

Conversations Between Joshua and Andrew

Joshua's room is next to ours. Andrew is down the hall. Andrew wakes up gently speaking things like, "Mommy, I love you." Or, "Mommy, come get me."

Joshua wakes up yelling, "Mommy-Daddy," as if we are one in the same.

Yesterday, Joshua woke with his normal, "Mommy-Daddy!"

Andrew could hear Joshua, but Joshua couldn't hear Andrew.

Andrew yelled from his room, "Butter, I awake, too!" He continued, "I called mommy, but she's not here!"

Every Good and Perfect Gift

Rebecca and I dropped our kids off at her parents and headed to her brother's high school football game. We left our van at her mom's house, so she'd have carseats if needed. We borrowed their car and headed to the game.

The game was a good one, but her brother's team lost. At the end of the game I made a stupid and offensive joke, out loud, in front of lots of people. Driving home, my heart was heavy and I was looking to Rebecca to make me feel better about myself. Turning into our subdivision, I had to slam my breaks because I had misjudged the turn (in this my 4,799th trip into said subdivision). She said, "You're going too fast", and I snapped back. Not because she was wrong, but because I'm self-centered and needy.

We pulled into the driveway and realized we had no way into our house. The garage door opener was in the van and we had no keys.

The van was in reverse when Rebecca said, "Check your cardoor. Maybe it's unlocked." My sentence was much shorter.

Not only do I lock my cardoor faithfully, everyday. But I also lock it twice to hear the horn to make sure it's locked. Today, I drove into the driveway and walked to the mailbox. I left my computer bag in the front seat to grab on my way in. The mailbox had my new Sports Illustrated. SI usually comes on Wednesday, so I was extra happy to see it (also it's the NFL preview). I forgot to get my bag and went inside. I think I was on the phone as well.

All that to say, the door was unlocked and we walked into the house. A gift from God on a night, and especially on a thirty minute stretch, of me acting like a selfish baby.

I'm thankful my God is concerned with every aspect of life. I believe he would have been in every detail even if it meant driving back to my in-laws house. But tonight's gift was a sweet reminder that his goodness isn't dependent on mine.

To him be the glory.

Cheer Up!

"Cheer up! You're a lot worse off than you think. Cheer up! You're a lot more accepted and loved than you ever dreamed possible, because the gospel is true!" Jack Miller