Broken with Hope

I've been seeing a lot of zeal lately. A lot of Facebookers are looking forward to the opportunities the new year will bring. Posts telling us to make the most of the year and release the power within are creating a steady stream of powerful positive thinking.

I just don't buy it.

My hope this year isn't to make the most of myself or release some sort of inner champion. My life is not an example of personal power. It's the story of a deeply broken and flawed young man who is learning to let go of personal ambitions and pick up a cross to follow my Savior.

This doesn't mean I'm hopeless. I've got more hope than I've ever had before. It's just my hope is lying in another. My hope is resting in the Sovereign God of the universe. My hope is built on a rock.

I'm thankful for Jesus. I'm thankful for his grace and the power of his resurrection.

My prayer for the year is that God has his way in my life. I'm tired of spending time pursuing my own agenda. 2009 may have been the most stretching year of my life. I try to stay away from dramatic expressions unless they're warranted, but the year truly felt like going through a fire. Having come through what I believe to be the hardest part, I can say with a humble confidence that all of the fire was worth it. I know God better because of the suffering. He is bigger. Not bigger than he was, but bigger than I knew he was. I want what he wants. I need what he wants for me.

As I wrote this post, this song by Andrew Peterson came to my mind. It is with a broken back that I post these lyrics. He has bowed this stubborn heart. And I am grateful for the loving discipline of my most gracious, loving Father.

Have Your Way by Andrew Peterson

Father hear me now when I am humbled
I fear that I will soon forget
Now I have no strength to stand and stumble
I have no wish to leave you yet

O, Holy Father hear me now
When flesh is strong and spirit weak
Please break my back if I won’t bow
Won’t you have your way with me

Father hear me now when I am humbled
When I am bent with holy shame
All the lies that I've believed have crumbled
The blood of Christ my only claim

I cannot trust my own designs
My heart is prone to disobey
So listen, Lord while there is time
Chain me fast if I won’t stay
Take my life and have your way

Please hear me, Lord this blessed hour
When sin has loosed it’s hold on me
They mercy is a mighty tower
So why should I not trust in thee
Father have your way with me