12/24/10

Conversations With the Boys - Christmas Edition

So, last year Rebecca and I talked about what we'd do concerning Santa Claus. Would we tell the boys the truth, or let them believe in Santa until somebody else told them? As a kid, I never believed. I don't remember much about it. I've been told that I just didn't buy it. It didn't make sense, so as a little boy I simply said I didn't believe. Every time one of my friends found out their parents blamed me. I never told anyone.

Rebecca and I decided to go ahead and tell the boys the whole Santa thing is a game. We said we were going to play it and the boys shouldn't tell anyone about the game because a lot of people really believed. With one exception during a four hour flight delay this July, our boys didn't ruin anyone else's game.

Our decision, at least my portion of the decision, wasn't based on worrying about the "mom and dad lied to us about Santa, maybe Jesus isn't real" conversation. Odds are they're going to catch us lying about something at some point. I wanted to tell them the truth about Santa because I hate moralism. The idea of a guy coming into our house once a year won't do much damage. The idea of being good just to get stuff is what I wanted to keep out of their heads.

We put a lot of thought into it, but as with much of parenting, in the end it didn't really matter.

They don't believe us. I'm not sure that's the best way to say it. It's not that they think we're lying as much as they think we're wrong. According to the boys, Santa is real and they'd "really like to meet him."



Ho! Ho! Ho!

12/16/10

Advent Hope

Elkanah, Penninah, and Hannah could have had their own reality show. Penninah and Hannah were sister-wives before sister-wives were cool. Penninah had children. Hannah didn't. Elkanah loved Hannah more than he loved Penninah and wasn't afraid to show it ... publicly. At dinner, for example, Elkanah would give Hannah a double portion of food while Penninah watched with jealousy. In order to bring Hannah down a few pegs, Penninah would harass Hannah with the cultural reality that no matter how much Elkanah loved her, she was a nobody because she didn't have children of her own.

At one particular meal, during a trip to the tabernacle to worship, Hannah reached her breaking point. After having enough of Penninah's cruelty, Hannah dramatically stood up and left the table. She rushed to the tabernacle to pray, where the priest of the time, Eli, saw her weeping. The words she prayed were filled with bitter emotion and tearful cries. Eli did what any sensitive pastor would do and accused her of stumbling into worship in a drunken stupor.

Thankfully, the words Eli couldn't comprehend were heard and understood by God. Hannah's prayer was a break-through for her as she began to seek a child, not for herself, but for God's glory. Hannah promised God she would give her son to God, left in peace, returned to dinner, and ate her double portion.

After nursing her son Samuel (named for the God who hears), Hannah took him back to Eli where he would grow up and learn how to be a priest to God's people. In what had to be a bittersweet moment (saying goodbye to the son she had longed for), Hannah said this ...

  “My heart rejoices in the LORD;
   in the LORD my horn is lifted high.
My mouth boasts over my enemies,
   for I delight in your deliverance.

 2 “There is no one holy like the LORD;
   there is no one besides you;
   there is no Rock like our God.

 3 “Do not keep talking so proudly
   or let your mouth speak such arrogance,
for the LORD is a God who knows,
   and by him deeds are weighed.

 4 “The bows of the warriors are broken,
   but those who stumbled are armed with strength.
5 Those who were full hire themselves out for food,
   but those who were hungry are hungry no more.
She who was barren has borne seven children,
   but she who has had many sons pines away.

 6 “The LORD brings death and makes alive;
   he brings down to the grave and raises up.
7 The LORD sends poverty and wealth;
   he humbles and he exalts.
8 He raises the poor from the dust
   and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
he seats them with princes
   and has them inherit a throne of honor.

   “For the foundations of the earth are the LORD’s;
   on them he has set the world.
9 He will guard the feet of his faithful servants,
   but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness.

   “It is not by strength that one prevails;
 10 those who oppose the LORD will be broken.
The Most High will thunder from heaven;
   the LORD will judge the ends of the earth.

   “He will give strength to his king
   and exalt the horn of his anointed.” 


There weren't a lot of outward things for Hannah to be excited about. She was leaving her son with the priest who mistook real, heartfelt prayer for a drunken tantrum. She was saying goodbye to her son who she loved and would only see once a year. He was going to be a priest and a prophet, not exactly the least stressful jobs in the world. Yet, in the midst of situations that seemed dark, Hannah knew God's plan for salvation was continuing on the earth and she could see it in her son.

As inspiring as Hannah's story is, she points to another mother. And as great a prophet as Samuel was, he points to another Son.

After Mary, the engaged teenager, found out she was carrying the Son of God in her womb she hurried out of town to see her cousin Elizabeth. Like Hannah, Mary's circumstances didn't seem all that hopeful. She was an unwed, pregnant teenager whose story few believed. But she knew God was not only continuing His salvation story, but bringing it to its highest point in the baby in her womb.

She sang ...


"“My soul glorifies the Lord
 47 and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
48 for he has been mindful
   of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
 49 for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
   holy is his name.
50 His mercy extends to those who fear him,
   from generation to generation.
51 He has performed mighty deeds with his arm;
   he has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
52 He has brought down rulers from their thrones
   but has lifted up the humble.
53 He has filled the hungry with good things
   but has sent the rich away empty.
54 He has helped his servant Israel,
   remembering to be merciful
55 to Abraham and his descendants forever,
   just as he promised our ancestors.” 


The Advent Season is a time where we can sing with Hannah and Mary. There is a just God who is bringing his perfect peace to earth. The humble will be lifted up. The empty will be filled. All is not right, but it is being made right in Jesus. There is hope today because God became a baby, grew up into a man, faithfully obeyed the Father, and gladly gives away his righteousness to those who ask for healing. Our circumstances may be bleak today, but the hope of God's salvation is strong. 

12/11/10

Back Where I Began

The past few days have been far from my best. I've been, to say the least, kind of down. And in the struggle, I've not wanted to spend much time with God. Prayer and time in the Bible have been the last things I've wanted to do.

The past couple months have been full of a lot of brokenness. We've been to four funerals and have had friends and family in the hospital with some serious illnesses. It has begun to take its toll on me emotionally. Last night, in the middle of this brokenness, I decided to watch the movie, The Road. It's a post-apocalyptic story about a father and son trying to survive humanity at its worst. Not exactly the feel good hit of the summer.

I've felt my heart pulling away from thinking while all of this has been going on. I'm struggling with knowing God is intimately involved in all of these details, yet at times seems so far away. I have felt the feelings David felt in Psalm 139 often. God knows all and sees all. I need a break.

I was walking out of Publix today and a guitar riff went through my head. No lyrics. Literally just eight notes that repeat quickly.  I couldn't even remember the last time I had listened to the song. I didn't remember what it was called, but I grabbed my ipod and tried to figure it out. I knew it was a Caedmon's Call song and thought I remembered the line - 'where I began'. I played the song and couldn't hold back the emotions of God's gentle reminder. The lyric that stood out most tonight was 'Try as I may, I can't get away from you'.

I'm thankful tonight for God's powerful salvation. I'm thankful for a God who is not dependent on my faithfulness for his mercy to be poured into my life. I've been running and trying to get away from the glorious and awesome reality of who He is. I run. I resist. He pursues. He saves ... again and again.

This is the only clip I could find of the song. Not the greatest video, but worth hearing the song.

12/7/10

The King's Peace

This is my sermon from the first Sunday of Advent. Enjoy, or whatever you're supposed to do with sermons, do that.

The King's Peace

12/1/10

Looking Back

Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalm 40:5

Today started oddly. Oddly might not be strong enough. It was actually a little creepy. Rebecca bought some new shampoo last night, and I used it for the first time this morning. The shampoo is supposed to smell like cherries. It doesn't. It smells like cherry flavored Vitamin C's.

They say smell is the strongest memory inducing sense. I think they're right. As I smelled the shampoo, I was immediately taken back to five year old me walking up to an skinny, bald old man after a worship service to get a cherry flavored Vitamin C. The old man kept Vitamin C's in a little plastic bag for the kids of the church to get after each service. We would wait in line like kids going to sit on Santa's lap. If I close my eyes I can see the man's skinny fingers pulling the sides of the bag apart and the powdery vitamins being pushed to the top. I remember him saying, 'Hello, my boy' or calling me lad. I remember him patting my head and smiling.

I can't think of these after-church meetings without also remembering approaching him for other reasons. There was the time I was invited by a friend to stand on the sideline of a Rose Bowl game and my parents made me ask the old man's permission to go. He said no. There was the time he heard I was going to California (I was 21) where I would be wearing shorts and attending a baseball game and he asked me not to do either because he didn't and he was following Jesus. I remember my parents telling me the old man liked to see how his kids were doing in school and taking my report card up to him to show him my grades. To say the least, the old man was a big part of my life.

All this from a new bottle of shampoo.

I finished a book I've wanted to read for a long time last week. It's John Krakauer's, Under the Banner of Heaven. It's about fundamentalist Mormonism. The book is loaded with quotes about cult leaders and gurus. The memories that rushed back to me from my childhood to my early twenties were intense. The day I finished the book I had a thought that won't leave my mind. I've only been out of a cult for seven years. The amount of grace and growth that God has put into those seven years is amazing. I'm grateful to so many who have patiently walked with me through my journey to the freedom of Christ. It's been a week full of looking back and seeing God's faithful provision every step of the way.

I've also spent quite a bit of time thinking about how thankful I am to be working at Church of the Redeemer. It was a year ago this week that I took my name out of the mix of the job I thought I would probably end up taking. It felt as though God was moving us away from that particular place. After removing our name, we began attending Redeemer knowing if we were in Nashville we would be at Redeemer. We immediately fell more in love with every aspect of the church - including the style of worship.

January 1, 2009 was the first time I had really contemplated working at an Anglican church. I had visited Redeemer a few times, and loved the people and the way the gospel was preached and lived, but I had a lot of reservations about whether or not I could be a convincing Anglican. I had a hard time picturing myself preaching in a robe or carrying candles into a worship service. Not only have I gotten past those reservations, but I have grown to love the liturgy and gospel centered acts of worship that go along with being Anglican. I even bought my first robe today. Pretty convincing!

So many of the details of my life are so unlikely. I'm grateful to have been delivered from the bondage of a false-gospel. I'm thankful God has called me to preach the good news of his salvation. I love the unlikelihood of it all because it brings more glory to him. As usual, it reminds me of a song.

Lead of Love by Caedmon's Call

Looking back at the road so far
The journey's left its share of scars
Mostly from leaving the narrow and straight

Looking back it is clear to me
That a man is more than the sum of his deeds
And how You've made good of this mess I've made
Is a profound mystery

Looking back You know You had to bring me through
All that I was so afraid of
Though I questioned the sky, now I see why
Had to walk the rocks to see the mountain view
Looking back I see the lead of love

Looking back I can finally see (I'd rather have wisdom)
How failures bring humility (than be)
Brings me to my knees (a comfortable fool)
Helps me see my need for Thee